"Where's My Paranormal Romance?" Inspired by Dracula:

Where’s My Paranormal Romance?

I think it’s time I reconsider my options.

Romance, I thought,

would be easy enough in life to find.

But no such luck for this

awesome, available babe.

Now maybe I’ll expand my requirements.

who needs a human

when paranormal romance is an option?

I went to school,

I go on the occasional vacay--

where’s my

run in with a vampire

or my werewolf mate

declaring his love for me?

Human romance

isn’t working out so well for me,

so expanding my prospects

to other humanoids

seems the logical option.

My new standards feel just as achievable

as a kind, honest, handsome human

who will love me forever,

‘til death do us part,

and raise a big family

with me as his equal partner.

If you want to argue

that this type of man exists,

feel free to take me out and prove it.

That’d be the ideal

paranormal romance.