Can I Forgive
He went missing –
again.
He was the scandal –
again.
We didn’t know if he would live,
if he would make it home,
if we would ever see him
again.
The not knowing
kept me up all night.
I prayed for my brother
who was lost but not missing.
I imagined our reunion:
the stories he would tell,
the tears we would shed,
the hug he would wrap me in.
He made it in time,
and we saw him again.
But he just smiled
and said goodbye.
He chose to stay lost
rather than come back to us.
He chose
the risk of disease,
the chaos of turf wars,
the friends he made
over a safe life with us,
his family.
Over me,
his sister.
He was selfish –
again.
And after everything,
I know I’ll let go of my anger
and he’ll get away with it –
again.
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