Fooled by Logic
She knew she was going to die;
she had accepted it.
Her death was a sacrifice she was willing to make
for the sake of her brother’s happiness.
But the sea didn’t kill her.
The water didn’t rush into her lungs,
and no unfathomable monster ripped her apart.
She was swallowed by the sea,
surrounded by strangers,
expected to continue on with life—
as if any of that was normal.
She had expected to die,
to no longer feel anything,
to not understand how the earth continued living,
to not watch her home from afar
knowing she would live the rest of her life separately.
She tried to logic her way out of the pain,
to tell herself the pain she experienced beneath the sea
couldn’t matter
because she was dead to those above the sea,
to tell herself the sacrifice of her life
was valued
because she was dead to those above the sea.
But she wasn’t dead to her new life beneath the sea,
and her pain wasn’t fooled by logic.
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